Worfisms
Q: What do I have to do to convince you that I'm human?
Worf: Die.
Q: Oh, very good Worf. Eat any good books lately?
(After an encounter with Klingons where Worf is presented as Captain of the
enterprise): How did you like your first command, Worf?
Worf: Comfortable chair.
And now, a personal request, sir. Permission to clean up the bridge.
(Lt. Worf to Picard about Q, "Encounter at Farpoint")
"I am a Klingon, sir. For me to seek escape when my captain goes to
battle..."
"You are a Star Fleet officer, Lieutenant."
"Aye, sir." (Worf and Picard, "Encounter at Farpoint", stardate 41153.7)
"Lieutenant, do you intend to blast a hole through the viewer?" (Picard to
Worf, "Encounter at Farpoint")
"You reacted fast, Lieutenant."
"But futilely."
"I will learn to do better, sir." (Riker, Picard, Worf, "Encounter at
Farpoint")
"I say fight, sir. There's nothing shameful in falling to a superior enemy."
"And nothing shameful in a strategic retreat either." (Worf and Picard, "The
Last Outpost", stardate 41386.4)
"Are you telling me that's a pussy cat?"
"Yes, I suppose you could call it that." (Yar and Worf about a Klingon Targ,
"Where No One Has Gone Before", stardate 41263.1)
"Nice planet." (Worf, "Justice", stardate 41255.6)
"I am not concerned with pleasure, Commander, I am a warrior."
"Even Klingons need love now and then."
"For what we would consider love, sir, I would need a Klingon woman."
"What about plain old basic sex? You must have some need for that."
"Of course, but with the females available to me, sir - Earth females - I must
restrain myself too much. They are quite fragile, sir."
"Worf, if anyone else had said that I'd suspect he was bragging."
"Bragging, sir?" (Worf and Riker, "Justice")
"No. Lt. Worf, you will make no move against him unless I order it."
"Pity, you might have learned an interesting lesson macrohead, with a
microbrain." (Picard and Q, "Hide and Q", stardate 41590.5)
"Worf, is this your idea of sex?"
"This is sex, but I have no place for it in my life now."
"No place microbrain? What possesses you?" (Geordi, Worf, and Q, "Hide and
Q")
"Klingons appreciate strong women." (Worf, "Angel One", stardate 41636.9)
"I think I may sneeze."
"A Klingon sneeze?"
"Only one I know." (Worf and Geordi, "Angel One")
"If winning is not important, then commander, why keep score?" (Worf and
Riker, "11001001", stardate 41365.9)
"Thinking about what you can't control only wastes energy and creates its own
enemy." (Worf, "Coming of Age", stardate 41416.2)
"Only fools have no fear." (Worf, "Coming of Age")
"You don't like me very much do you?"
"Is it required...sir?" (Lt. Cmdr Remmick and Worf, "Coming of Age")
"Why do you mock me? Why do you wish to anger me?"
"Only to see if it is still possible." (Worf and Korris, "Heart of Glory",
stardate 41503.7)
"Cowards take hostages. Klingons do not." (Worf to Yar, "Heart of Glory")
"Do not deny the challenge of your destiny! Get off your knees and soar.
Open your eyes and let the dream take flight." (Korris to Worf, "Heart of
Glory")
"You look for the battles in the wrong place. The true test of a warrior is
not without - it is within." (Worf to Korris, "Heart of Glory")
"How did they die?"
"They died well." (K'Nera and Worf, "Heart of Glory")
"I was just being polite, sir." (Worf to Picard, "Heart of Glory")
"What happened to all the people?"
"War?"
"Disease?"
"A dissatisfied customer?" (Troi, Worf, Data, and Geordi, "Arsenal of
Freedom", stardate 41798.2)
"Ah...Worf. We are so much alike you and I. Both warriors, orphans who found
ourselves this family. I hope I met death with my eyes wide open." (Yar,
"Skin of Evil", stardate 41601.3)
"It's my understanding that one of the duties of the First Officer on a
Klingon ship is to assassinate the Captain."
"Yes, sir. When and if the Captain becomes weak and unable to perform, it is
expected that his honorable retirement should be assisted by his First. The
Second Officer would assassinate you for the same reasons."
"This method of attrition could take a little getting used to." (Riker and
Worf, "A Matter of Honor", stardate 42506.5)
"Sentimental, Lieutenant?"
"Efficiency, Commander." (Riker and Worf, "A Matter of Honor")
"Didn't mean to offend you."
"You didn't, yet." (Ensign Mendon and Worf, "A Matter of Honor")
"Ensign Mendon. You may impress me." (Worf, "A Matter of Honor")
"And I will instruct you on Enterprise etiquette." (Worf to Mendon, "A Matter
of Honor")
"That is how a Klingon lures a mate."
"Are you telling me to yell at Salia?"
"No, no, no. Men do not roar. Women roar. Then they hurl heavy objects.
And claw at you."
"What does the man do?"
"He reads love poetry. He ducks a lot."
"Worf, it sounds like it works great for the Klingons, but...I think I need to
try something a little less...dangerous?"
"Go to her door, beg like a human." (Worf and Wesley, "The Dauphin", stardate
42568.8)
"Klingons do not faint." (Worf to Dr. Pulaski, "Up the Long Ladder", stardate
42823.2)
"Klingons do not give in to illness." (Worf to Dr. Pulaski, "Up the Long
Ladder")
"How would Commander Riker feel if he had the measles?"
"Pretty silly." (Worf and Pulaski, "Up the Long Ladder")
"Worf! You're a romantic!"
"It is among the Klingons that love poetry achieves its fullest flower." (Dr.
Pulaski and Worf, "Up the Long Ladder")
"Madam, have you ever considered a career in security."
"If it's anything like baby-sitting, I'm an authority." (Worf and Brenna
O'dell, "Up the Long Ladder")
"What a handsome race." (Worf about the Antedians, "Man Hunt", stardate
42859.2)
"Looks like its just us, handsome." (Dr. Pulaski to Worf, "The Emissary",
stardate 42901.3)
"The iceman wins again." (Riker about Worf, "The Emissary", stardate
42901.3)
"You took my last chip, you could at least smile, Worf."
"Smiling would break his concentration." (Pulaski and Geordi, "The
Emissary")
"Your deal."
"You were bluffing."
"Klingons never bluff." (Geordi and Worf, "The Emissary")
"Klingons are not supposed to mind hardships, nonetheless I am delighted to be
out of that damned coffin." (K'Ehleyr, "The Emissary")
"Worf. So this is where you've been hiding. I told you we'd meet again.
Aren't you going to greet me?"
"I have nothing to say to you."
"Haven't changed a bit, hmm? Well, I missed you, too." (K'Ehleyr and Worf,
"The Emissary")
"Sir, I suggest Commander Riker or Data would better serve special emissary
K'Ehleyr."
"Are there any personal reasons that you don't want the assignment?"
"Yes."
"Any professional reasons?"
"No. I withdraw my request, Captain."
"Good." (Worf and Picard, "The Emissary")
"You are late."
"Sorry, I had to make myself beautiful."
"I fail to understand why." (Worf and K'Ehleyr, "The Emissary")
"I don't bite. Well...actually, I do." (K'Ehleyr to Worf, "The Emissary")
"There are always options." (Worf, "The Emissary")
"Lieutenant, I order you to relax."
"I am relaxed!" (Picard and Worf, "The Emissary")
"Some calisthenics programs are better than others." (K'Ehleyr to Worf, "The
Emissary")
"Klingons do not surrender." (Worf, "The Emissary")
"I will tolerate no further insubordination. Drop your shields
immediately."
"And if I refuse?"
"Then die in ignorance. I can waste no more time on you." (Worf and Captain
K'Temoc, "The Emissary")
"Long live the Klingon Empire."
"A wise decision, Captain." (Captain K'Temoc and Worf, "The Emissary")
"How did you like command?"
"Comfortable chair."
"And you wore it well." (Riker, Worf, and K'Ehleyr, "The Emissary")
"I've never had such strong feelings toward anyone."
"Nor have I." (K'Ehleyr and Worf, "The Emissary")
"You're outmanned, you're outgunned, you're outequipped-- what else have you
got?"
"Guile." (Riker and Worf, "Peak Performance", stardate 42923.4)
Upon entering the Uxbridges' house the 2nd time, with Picard- ". . .Good tea.
Nice House." (Worf, "The Survivors")
"I am irritated."
"Less talk. More synthehol."
"Klingons do not surrender."
"I do not like swimming. It is too much like . . . bathing." (Worf,
"Conspiracy")
To the computer when it inadvertantly answered a question he posed-
"I wasn't talking to you!"
With Guinan, in Ten-Forward, talking about prune juice- "A warrior's
drink!"
"Klingons do not eat babies."
Data is talking to him at an inopportune moment: "With all due respect,
sir... **BEGONE!!** ...Sir."
Riker, to Worf, just before entering a holo-deck- "Nice suit... You'll make
a big hit in London." (Worf, "Elementary, My Dear Data")
"Warriors do not ask so many questions." (Worf, "Reunion")
How about the episode "Booby Trap" when Picard is rambling on in the
transporter room about model ships to Riker. Riker says that he did
not build them. He turns to Worf and Data on the pad and says, "Didn't any of
you build ships when you were a boy?"
Worf responds, "I did not play with toys."
Data says, "I was never a boy."
"Sir, I must protest, I am not a merry man." (Worf, "Qpid")
(After smashing Geordi's lute) "I'm sorry, sir." (Worf, "Qpid")
"Congratulations... you are now fully dilated." (Worf to Keiko, "Disaster")
"The academy simulation was much more orderly." (Worf, "Disaster")
"Are you supposed to just *sit* here?" (Worf, "Cost of Living")
"That is a woman's game. All the wild cards support a *weak* hand. In a man's
game there are no wild cards." (Worf, "The Outcast")
"All these wild cards. It is difficult to know what exactly is in my hand.
However, I will open with fifty." (Worf, "The Outcast")
"May I inform you, sir, that your attempt to hold the landing party with a non-
functioning weapon was an act of unmitigated gall. I admire gall."
"You are *not* Fekl'hr!"
"Talk, or play. Not both!"
"Nice legs. For a human."
"I will *not* play the fool for Q's amusement!"
"Please, madam, that is a torpedo launch initiator! And...it is Worf, not
Woof."
"I...was detained."
"Did you design this program yourself? (Alexander: Well, Mr. Barclay helped
me a little.) I must have a...talk with Mr. Barclay." (Fistful of Datas)
"Bluffing is not one of Counselor Troi's strong suits."
"Klingons do not allow themselves to be...probed."
"Captain, these are Romulans! They are *without* honor... They believe humans
and Klingons are a waste of skin."
"Do not be fooled by her looks. The body is just a shell."
(Anya: You know I'm stronger than you.) "I was unprepared." (The Dauphin)
"I have wagered heavily in the ship's pool that you will take him past the
sixth level. (Riker: And if I don't?) I will be...irritated." (Worf,
"Peak Performance")
"I like my species the way it is!"
"I am not easy to get along with."
"Words come later. It is the scent which first speaks of love."
"I have much to teach you about women!"
"I've been tutoring him. He learns very quickly."
"A warrior does not complain of physical discomfort." (Worf, "Clues")
"There are very few individuals on board who could have broken my wrist."
(Worf, "Clues")
"Human bonding rituals often involve a great deal of talking and dancing and
crying."
"The Borg have neither honour nor courage. *That* is our greatest
advantage."
"We Klingons believe that death is an experience best shared." (Worf to
Pulaski, "Up The Long Ladder")
"You may now give birth." (Worf to Keiko, in "Disaster")
"I begin to see the appeal of this program! *grin*" (Worf, "A Fistful of
Datas")
"I wonder if he's stacking the deck."
"I can assure you, commander that the cards are sufficiently randomized."
"I hope so." (Riker, Data and Worf, "Cause And Effect")
"Today it is a good day to die, Duras. And the day is not over yet." (Worf,
"Sins of the Father")
Riker [about the new and improved "Lorg"]: "...It was more like fighting
Klingons -- no offense."
Worf [casually]: "None taken." ("Descent, pt.I")
Data asks Worf what kind of cake he is eating. Worf replies, "It is a cellular
peptide cake... With mint frosting!" ("Phantasms")
"SPOT! COME HERE!" ("Phantasms")
Data: "And you must talk to him. Tell him he is a pretty cat, and a good
cat..."
Worf: "I will feed him." ("Phantasms")
Guinan: "You, you always drink alone. It wouldn't hurt you to seek out a
little...companionship."
Worf: "I would require a Klingon woman for...'companionship'. Earth females
are too fragile."
Guinan: "Not all of them. There are a few on this ship that would find you...
tame."
Worf: [Laughs] "Impossible."
Guinan: "You never know until you try."
Worf: "Then I will never know."
Guinan: "Coward."
Worf: "I was merely concerned for the...safety of my crewmates."
Guinan: "Drink your prune juice." ("Yesterday's Enterprise")